Be Careful What You Wish For...

THE OSTRICH

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The e man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"


"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.


The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

Local Calls - A Nice Joke About The Philippines For a Change

The title of this joke is "Local Calls". This is I guesss one of a few nice jokes about the Philippines. It made me laugh so I decided to put it in my blog. I got it from a circulated e-mail and the author is unknown.

Here it goes...

A man in Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the world. He started by flying to San Francisco , going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $100 a minute". Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Paris , Vienna , Hong Kong , and other cities, he found more phones with the same sign and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Philippines . Upon entering a church in Manila , the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary Catholic Church, he saw the usual golden telephone.. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: P10.00" Fascinated, he asked to talk to the priest, "Father, I have been in cities around world and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven. But in the other churches the cost was $100 a minute. Your sign reads only P10 a call. Why?" I love this part..... The priest, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you’re in the Philippines now. You’re in God’s country.. It’s a local call."

To God be the glory!